| |
Well, here is my
story.
I turn 18 next month. Up until last summer I had only been with one person;
my boyfriend of almost 3 years, and since we had been together since we
were 14 and lost our virginity to eachother when we were 16, we frequently
didn't use condoms. We had broken up that spring, and by July I decided
I was ready to experiance new things. One night I had some friends over
to drink and we all ended up pretty drunk, and STUPIDLY, I slept with
a friend of my brother's (unprotected), who is 21, and who I now know
has been with many girls. My stupidity and carelessness did not end there,
however, because we began dating after that and had unprotected sex several
more times. I honestly don't know how I could have been so stupid. Of
course I knew better, and I knew about the risk of HIV, but I honestly
just didn't even think about it at the time. For me, sex always made me
worry about getting pregnant, and since I've been on birth control, that
worry has gone away, and I just have ignored the fact that there are other,
much more serious, risks of having unprotected sex. I dated him for a
couple of months, and since then have had sex with one other guy, protected.
Now I am back with my boyfriend who I was with for 3 years, and all I
can think about is the possibility of having HIV. Even worse is the fact
that he has still never been with anyone else, even while we were broken
up for 7 months. He knows that I have had sex with someone else, but what
if I have HIV? I could have given it to him. I will have ruined not only
my life, but my boyfriend's, who I love and care about more than anyone.
I'm leaving for college in the fall, and I want to go to Medical School
and be an OB/GYN. What if all of that is ruined? I am calling tomorrow
to schedule an appointment to be tested. I am TERRIFIED. I can't think
of anything else. I can only hope and pray that my results come back negative,
and I will be absolutely sure in the future that I am not so stupid and
careless as to put myself in this kind of situation again.
And if I am positive... I just don't have any idea what I'll do.
I'll post my results when I get them... I guess it will be a few weeks.
Any words of support would be greatly appreciated.
Email
Author
Sent via Email February
9, 2006, from USA.
|
|