Hi my name is Hadiyyah i am 21 I live in Philadelphia , Pa. Here in philly there are so many wh oare hiv positive here , either knowing or not. It is so scary i hear so many girls and women on the radio talking about the people they have slept with , how many etc. I never knew that so much was going on here , naive you may say and i agree I am. I did something so stupid in dec I ha d sex with a friend of mine that i thought was my friend. At that time it seem ok , I really didnt want to but after a 30 hour of kissing and hm feeling on me I gave in , a very dumb thing for me to have done. i get pissed off with myself at the thought of what i have done. He started acting different towards me and he calms it was the way i was acting towards him . I started to find out little by little , how many girls hes been seeing , how he meets women off the internet. I dont know if hes sleeping with them unprotected but i wouldnt put it pass him because he did that with me. So now i wait nerveously to see what my results are , it hasnt been 3 months yet not until about march or april. I am scared dont know what to do , thinking aobut my life and what i am going to do if it comes back neg or positive. I am trying not to send myself insane so I keep it deep inside and just wait. I wish i could start all over agian but i know i cant. I will entrust in go d that everything will be okay because he never puts anything on you that he knows you cant bear. So everyone please hold on .

Sent via Email February 8, 2006, from Philadelphia, USA.