I'm 25 years of age,i was so scared for alywas in my mind the word hiv/aids. Most of the time when i've encountered this wherever i am i felt so ashame for myself. I have a very nice and a loving wife. This december 2005 i will have 2 kids at my side the most thing bothered me most is my past experience with a girl in manila,philippines when i have a contact with girl whom i've never known here background at all.durimg the time we have sex at that night i felt things that for the first time i feel. My feet felt numb and im wondering because it's just a first time for me feel that numb of my feet during sex. At that time im still single but i have a relationship with my wife at that time. She's 2 months pregnant for our first baby. Honestly i've done such a mistake that maybe my whole life will be at danger. Im scared for being contacted with that girl because ive notice that, that girl seems so very lots of problems at her shoulders. I've always sacred if i am been contacted and also my wife and 2 kids i'll always thinking this so bad. What will be that future with my wife and my kids? One year already since it happen until now im afraid of getting a text for hiv for myself because i dont know what will happen to me if it's been a devastating results. I have great plans for my kids i want to them to be educated live with a happy family at theirs sides. For just being 8 hours with that girl almost my life change at all. I was so scared, i dont know what to do sometimes. Sometimes i've felt paranoid,lots of things been change on me.

I dont want to lose hope at all, for i know god will be at my sides, im always praying every night hoping that god will give me another chance and dont let that scared things in my mind be on top of it, hoping that with great powers and great kind from him he will give me a good health in life with my family,i'm always praying to him that i can still
Live happily with my wife and kids.
Thanks for all hope u will read this as a share of being how hiv/aids can affecte everyone of us eventhough you dont know if your negative of positive,just always put in our mind that aquiring this kind of disease in just a few hours of happiness will be a great devasting scenes that will happen in our lives. It will create a huge impact in our life status and in the near future.
Thanks.........................
Jose

Sent via Email November 25, 2005 from Phillipines.