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Hi I don't know even
know how to start
I am 22 years old and I finish college this year. I want so many things
from life: a career, a family, and children of my own. I everything seemed
to be at my reach. Until now I have slept with 3 men in my life. And I
loved each passionately. I actually became sexually active a year an a
half ago. I was expecting prince charming, I guess. He did come eventually
but we broke up after a while.
But this is not what I wanted to tell you about. 6 months ago I fell in
love with a man. I was so stupid that I had unprotected sex with him.
I never thought at the consequences. We are not together anymore. I thought
for a while that all he had given me was a broken heart. Now I am not
so sure. I few weeks ago a rash appeared all over my body. I thought at
first that it was an allergy and that it would go away. It didn't. Besides,
I experienced all the other symptoms of AIDS: fatigue, fever, night sweats,
and swollen lymph glands.
I am desperate. Even when I am writing this I cannot stop trembling. I
am so afraid. It seems as if my whole life has come to an end. I won't
be able to fulfill any of my dreams. I will never find a man to love me
or to have children.
Tomorrow I indend to go and get tested for AIDS. Nothing seems real right
now. I can not even cry I feel only shiver down my spine. I can only hope
it won't be positive. If it is positive I dont know what I will
do. I will never be able to tell my parents that.
I need you support so much. I will appreciate so much if you send me an
email. I cannot talk with any of my friends. I am afraid of what they
would think. I am so alone and scared.
Email address not
supplied
Sent via Email, April
12, 2005 pittsburgh, USA.
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