i just got the word today that my life had been given back to me, i tested negative for the HIV virus. yes, elated i am, and in the same breathe, so thankful for god that the careless nature of my sexual history hasn't plagued me with a lifetime disease.
i'm probably like alot of you who have come to this website in search of answers. you may be worrying endlessly about whether or not you contracted HIV, and now you're searching to find out clues as to what your status might be. i can only give you this advice, GET TESTED.
yes, it took two weeks to get back the results, and in those two weeks i haven't had a decent night of sleep. the anxiety was almost too much to bare. i actually got a call from the doctor's office last night saying that my test results were in and to call them today, rendering me helpless from the time i got that voicemail until this morning, pure horror.
i'm 33, single, straight, and not an iv drug user. that doesn't mean i'm immune to this disease. i look back over the past five years of my sexual behavior and i'm ashamed of what i've done. i must have slept with over 30 women, a bunch of those no more than strangers. even though i know i was careful, there's always that chance, especially with some of the women i've been with.
now, my life is mine again, and to say i'm going to be more careful and more vigilant over who i sleep with would be the biggest understatement of the decade for me. it just isn't worth sleeping with ever woman you bump in to. that will not get you anywhere except in trouble in the long run. i will no longer worry aimlessly over whether or not i'm infected. i will no longer shoulder the load of a possible lifetime of disease. i will no long fear walking around with a scarlett letter on my forehead because i thought it would be fun to try to sleep with as many woman as i could. Protect yourself. Respect your health more. Respect others, and get tested.
And for those of you who do test positive, life isn't over, not by a long shot. In this past month of anxiety i've read much about HIV, and life will go on. you will survive.
god bless.

Sent via Email, December 17, 2004 from North Carolina, USA.