my nane is carol, and I'm 25 years old,and this year in june I found out that I'm living positive. Hearig the news was the worse thing that ever happen to me .I felt my dreams were going down the drain, i didn't tell noone even my husband whom I just got married to him few months before I knew about my status. The good think about this is that before we got married we promised each other we will make love after me get married and we did.
The thing is we've been using condom after we got married until now the problem is he does'nt want to use condoms anymore he says that he is committed and he will never cheat, so now I'm confused because I'm the one who is having a problem here not him and I really don't wanna infect him and I really don't know how to tell him cause i know I will lose him like the same way i lost other thinks. Guest what? I hate myself right now because I know this is not my fault, and I really hate the man how raped me when i was young only if I could prevent it from happening or fight him. So now I need your help, do i continue use a condom and give him excuses or should I just tell him the truth and let him leave me and divorce me cause I really know that it will not take a second for him to leave because he knows that there is no chance that he might be HIV. So the only thing left for me is to go back home and just kill myself because I don't see any reason for leaving because i might die soon. I'm really fustrated because all what I've planned about my life persuing my career, while i'm working in the Unted Stated trying to support my family in South Africa all of my dreams are gone .Please tell my what to do.
from
carol

Sent via Email, September 2, 2004 from South Africa