Well, about 6 years ago I had unprotected intercourse with my girlfried at the age of 14. We continued to have sexual relations for over 2 years, most of the time unprotected. I told myself that I wouldn't ever do that again, for the risk of being infected with HIV or STD's. Well, as you read, story book endings are not something I encounter on a regular day basis. After my relationship ended, I ended up doing the same thing one year later with another women my age of mid 16, early 17, I believe. Well we continued to have unprotected sex close to three years.

Before I left the state, she took a HIV test, and the test was negative. Like my previous girlfriend before her, she told me she was a virgin. When your young, like I still am, don't get me wrong, you tend to believe word of mouth. Well when I moved, we eneded up spliting our relationship. When I arrived at my new destination, I met a nice women. We ended up having sexual intercourse about 5 times. 1 of those times, during, I was caught up in the moment, due to having unprotected sex so many times before I took off my condom, which if your reading this, it is something that I and pretty much everyone else who has posted does not recommend. Well, when we ended our romance, she asked me if I took it off. I replied yes, but told her I was clean, which I believed at the time. She said "ok" like nothing was wrong. Well it is 1 year later, and it is creeping back into my mind. Like my previous sexual partners, she told me she was a virgin. Word around the area though, is that she has been with others. This coming from men who find her attractive. As well as talking about her body parts behind her back, these who she considered friends of hers. So you can't always believe what you hear.

Well, I have not had sexual relations with anyone, and will not until I am tested. I have read many posts that people like myself have written. Most in different circumstances but all with one frame of mind. Scared of what we have done in the past, and unsure of our future. When you, like I, dwell on it so much, it puts us into depression. I am currently under a nice dose of depression, but after explaining the scenerio with my family, I come to different conclusions. I wanted to explain my case, because like I have written, I have seen some similar. What I'd like to say, is that everyone is brave for posting their stories, and deserve Gods blessing. No matter what happens, no matter what results you may come to, remember that your family will be there for you. Your friends, and I mean your real friends will always come to your aid. So don't be like me, don't dwell, live life. I am in the same boat, as I am too scared to testing due to the results. I'd like to believe that Im clean, but you can only find out one way. To all those that are going to be tested or have tested in the last week, good luck and I wish the best to all of you. I will be doing the same thing soon, as I am about to move once again and plan on taking the test first thing in my new home. Good luck and God speed.

Sent via Email Tuesday May 11, 2004 from Oklahoma.
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