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30 March 2004 , a
day I will never forget. My sister called me in tears and told me that
she had just tested HIV positive. I broke down right there and started
crying and both of us where crying on the phone. Then she told me that
she needs me to be strong for and I stopped crying and started listening.
I was the first person she told.
I kept on hoping that she had acquired a sick sense of humour and was
playing an early April‚s fool joke on me but it wasn't that. On my
way home I kept on telling myself to wake up cause this felt like a terrible
nightmare. At one point after I realized that I was not waking I went
through the events of the day and concluded that I‚m never gonna
wake up cause going through the events of the day i realized that everything
was too detailed for this to be a dream.
That evening when I got home I cried until my head felt fuzzy. My husband
was very supportive and the rational voice I needed at a time like that.
When he was trying to comfort me he said that Œthis does not mean
that she‚s dying it just means that the time you spent with her from
now on will be more precious and that went pierced straight through my
heart. I don‚t wanna have limited time with her. I don‚t wanna
wake up any day and not have her around. We were very close when we grew
up and I‚ve always expected her to be there.
Suddenly everything meant nothing to me. That car I wanted to buy meant
nothing to me anymore. I‚m here looking to buy this and that while
my sister is out there scared for her life.
In the days after she told me I went on the net and read as much as I
can about HIV/AIDS. And after a lot of reading I got to understand better
what it is all about and most of my fears were gone. The more I read stories
from people who've lived with the virus for years the more I realized
that this was not a death sentence and that I will still have in my life
for a very long time.
She's still very hurt, confused about the whole thing and she cries everyday
and I talk to her and try and make her understand. I don't know how we're
gonna get through this but I truly believe that we will.
Sent via Email Wenesday
April 21, 2004 from South Africa.
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