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Well, i'm not really
sure where to start. I've got a university degree and a great career.
I'm an attractive heterosexual male, athletic, 28 years of age. Life has
been good so far, or at least until september 2003. At that time, i met
an attractive female from out of town. She was a bit younger, early twenties,
who modelled. We kept in touch for a total of about one month. During
the period of time that we did keep in touch, i saw her on three occasions
and spoke to her on the phone several times. She visited twice and i visited
once. On one occasion, i had unprotected sexual intercourse with her.
I have slept with 18 women, and most people that i know have slept with
numerous more. My number could have been multiplied by quite the number
had i slept with everyone i had an opportunity to sleep with. I'd like
to think that i'm a picky person, but as we all know HIV/AIDS doesn't
discriminate. Shortly after sleeping with this women, i just felt something
was not the same. I couldn't pin point it on anything in particular, until
approximately two weeks later when i had a small discharge from my penis.
I had never had an STD, although i had had unprotected intercourse in
the past. This totally freaked me out. I immediately jumped onto the net
to find out what it was that i had contracted. What i soon found out was
it was either Chlamydia or Gonnorhea. I had to swallow my pride and go
see the doctor regarding my new problem. The doctor said that it was most
likely chlamydia and had me provide a urine sample. He provided me with
antibiotics and said that it was very popular these days, but was curable.
A few weeks later i received the test results that confirmed it was chlamydia.
I was to return within a month, middle of november to test again. I recently
went back in december to test again to see if i had rid myself of chlamydia.
I've yet to receive the results. Since my encounter with the 'model',
i have been very paranoid. I check myself out several times a day. I still
feel as it something is not right. Excluding testing for HIV/AIDS, i've
seen a doctor twice. I've had him look at my penis and he says nothing
is wrong, just that i've developped a positive paranoia. I've never been
tested for HIV/AIDS, nor did the doctor suggest that i do get tested.
Looking back since September, i can say at some point, that i felt weak
for a few days. First time i experienced that was sometime in October-November.
Never really thought much of it as that was it, excluding the chlamydia.
The doctor had never said to get tested. Early in December, i had that
same feeling again. On top of that, i had mild diarrhea for a couple of
days, a couple of canker sores in my mouth and my left gland was lower
for a few days. Can't say that these symptoms took place all at once,
but they were close. I know all of these could be symptoms of HIV/AIDS
or something else. I'm terrified to get tested. Since my encounter with
the 'model', i have since found out that she's been with numerous guys.
I would like to get tested and rid myself of this heavy weight/burden.
It's on my mind all the time. I haven't told anyone, nor would i if i
was positive. How ironic, my parents can sense that something is wrong.
Both have called me today, and have asked if everything was okay. I pray
every night, hoping that i don't have HIV/AIDS, but i'll never know until
i get tested and if i don't get tested, i'll know when it's too late.
They say that their is a six month window for the antibodies to show up
in your blood. I'd like to get tested approximately six months after,
which would put me into March. Although, who knows what kind of health
i'll be in if in fact i am positive. These few months that i've chosen
to be ignorant, could just in fact be the months that could extend my
life. I figured i'd do it in six months as opposed to now, so that i wouldn't
have to do it again in three months and go through the torment all over
again. Not that that makes any sense, cause i'll be putting myself through
that daily torment until the six month period, and then who knows then.
What i really wish was that i could have read these stories years back
prior to becoming sexually active. Sex would have been different. I just
hope that in reading these stories today, it's not too late for me and
for others, and i still have a chance to learn from my mistakes. GOOD
LUCK TO ALL AND GOD BLESS........SCARED IN CANADA!
Sent via Email -
Jan 5, 2004. Canada.
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