Disclosure relieves me of unnamable feelings I have about sharing my body my life with HIV
My veins are accessible and generous, so blood draws are gratifying. I like the focused attention required of a phlebotomist. We sometime exhale in unison as the blood races to the vial and I feel breath on my arm. It seems more like a grooming ritual than a medical procedure. I like having my hair brushed, too.
In contrast, self injection is a hollow experience. However temporarily, it ablates a boundary that I value. My skin.
We brought the virus out where it would quickly perish before my eyes. I used it. Hot wet warm soft cold thick dry dead gone
Polaroid transfer on paper with text
Susan - Los Angeles - 2000