I am 27 yrs old male and still virgin, well until last Friday incident... the thing is i decided not to have sex until i got married, and one of my old friend came from outside and we were having a good time, i am not that much experienced to alcohol either, so small amount of it gets me crazy and i just can't control my self...there was a sex worker with us that night...one of them went with me to bed...since i don't want to have sex any time, i never carry a condom, neither did she...before i knew we were on bed 3 times my penis gets in to her vagina, the penetration was a size of my little finger, and i ejaculate in the second and third time...while i was ejaculating i took it off and the other staff finished outside... it is been almost two week now..i got flu just next to that day and i can't sleep, yestarday i had a terrible sweate at night i am freak‚s out...i just don't know what to do, it is too early to check my status...and PCR is not available here and but only in one place that is where my mom know about it...and i don't want to take there. How can i wait until the next 2 more month only god knows... besides the girl who 'slept' with me told me that we didn't even have sex...well for me it was horrible...Every body watch out, it doesn't worth at all...i didn't even felt it...now i am concerned to death... if any one want to say some thing i let my email there...Email author
God please all

Hey everyone, I had unprotected sex with a stranger who wasnt the cleanest person I must say. Now my life is one big shambles. Its been 61 days and I have had two tests, one at 28 days and the other at 48 days and both were negative. However, I know that means nothing with the window period. Even scarier, on the 35th day, I woke up with bad diarehea, a headache and my body ached all over. This lasted for about 2 days and was gone. I am now convinced I have it and am just waiting for the word to come down on my next test. I replay over and over that night and cant believe I was that stupid. To everyone, please use protection and think of the consequences. If by some miracle, I come back negative, I am going to cherish every second and every person I come in contact with and not be a mad person of silly stuff. My question to any person with Hiv is do you see any positives in my story or do you get the same feeling that I have and its inevitable? God Bless everyone with the cruel disease.

To everyone who's reading this site.
I am a single, 38 year old woman from Europe living in San Francisco where 1 out of 50 individuals test HIV positive. I am not, but I am touched by every single person that is infected or has loved ones that are dealing with HIV - here and anywhere in the world. Today, I have signed up for the AIDS marathon coming up in December and I am committed to raise a significant dollar amount above the required minimum. This is my contribution to let everyone out there know, you are not alone, we care about you and we are reaching out to help the ones that are infected and hopefully help to find a cure and in the meantime prevent new infections.
God bless you all!

Hi I just wanted to comment after reading some of the stories. I have been in the same situation where i was waiting for my HIV results and I know it is the worst feeling in the world not knowing if you're going to be positive or not. By God's amazing grace I tested negative. I started crying in the doctor's office because I was so grateful. My heart goes out to everybody living with this disease or affected by it. Just because a person doesn't have HIV it doesn't make them any better then anyone who does. Please remember that Jesus loves everyone, He will be your strength no matter what. Please stay strong and I will keep you in my prayers, even if I dont know you personally. All my love, Kaia

I just wanted to say that these stories that I have read have touched my heart and made me think twice about any risky behavior. For those of you that are HIV+, My heart goes out to you and I have hope that one day we will have a cure!!! Stay healthy and keep your families close!

Firstly, let me say that HIV/AIDS disease is NOT "given" to you as a punishment for some imagined sin, and anyone who believes in a loving god would know this. This forum is NOT a place for fundamentalists to rave about sin and sickness, but to help people, so please keep your prejudiced opinions to yourself.
Secondly, to the person in Minnesota who has fallen in love with a person with HIV disease...let me offer this: If this person had diabetes, you would still love them, but look out for them by making sure they ate properly and took their meds, right? Well, you are right, safety is in knowledge. If you can't find a local HIV agency to answer your questions, get on line and do a search of some sights. Always use condoms, even during oral sex, because you never know if there is a broken tooth, a sore in your mouth, or anything like this that can come into contact with infected bodily fluids. Don't have sex while you are using alcohol or drugs. We tend to forget things, have rough sex, and this can cause infection. Never touch another person's blood. Clean up using universal precaustions, ie: gloves and chlorox. Remember, you can't get HIV from kissing, seat, tears...only blood, breast milk, semen, vaginal secretions from an infected person.
Make sure your loved one eats well takes their meds, and gets to all medical appointments. Loving someone with HIV is just like loving anyone who has any other disease..you are in it for a lifetime, prevention is the key, and love is the answer!
Good luck, feel free to ask as many questions as it takes to help you learn and understand!

Email Author

I don't feel bad for you people. YOU F*Cked up on your own will and I will not pray for you. Fools you werent thinking. I do not have Aids/HIV but I have my own Sets of problems (which i was born with). Everyday I Do NOT take life for granted because Of my disorder but you people that have it Good with no disorders are too stupid to realize that life is prescious so you go and F*CK it up for yourselves. I love how most of you beg for us to pray for you but guess what WE got own own sets of problems. Pray for yourself!

Im a 24 year old girl who has in the past been dating different men. I use protection, but sometimes that fails or something else happens and you cant always be sure.
I got a test simply because I have a newp artner, and was called in to be told it was inconclusive and they had to retest. Of course I was guilty, worried, couldnt eat for the time it took for them to take a new sample and test
It came back negative, but all the time I sat in the waiting room wondering if I was going to be positive or not made me realise it is out there, it happens to anyone, it is real, and its avoidable
Id tell anyone to get tested, be safe, get knowledge, dont worry in silence, tell someone you trust about it
Best wishes to all out there whatever their status

HI THERE
I FOUND THIS SITE LOOKING FOR ANSWERS
THIS IS MY SITUATION
MONTHS AGO I WAS HEART BROKEN BY A GIRL WHO I LOVED SO MUCH, SHE CHEATED ON BE WITH MY VERY BEST FRIEND I FELT LIKE TRASH. AFTER THAT I BECAME CARELESS AND I STARED TO HAVE SEX WITH ANY WOMAN I BOMPED INTO. A COUPLE OF THOSE CASES I HAD UNPROTECTED SEX. THE BAD THING IS THAT I HAVE BEEN FEELING WEIRD, I THINK THAT I'M INFECTED, I HAVEN'T GOTTEN TESTED, BUT ALL THE SYMPTOMS I HAVE AIM TO BE AIDS. I HAVE A DOCTOR FRIEND, I TOLD HIM HOW I FEEL, HE TOLD ME THAT THE ONLY WAY TO BE SURE IS TO GET TESTED, HE ALSO TOLD ME THAT I CAN'T ASUME THAT I'M INFECTED BECAUSE OF THE SYMPTOMS I'M HAVING, I'M SO SCARED, I DO NOT WANT TO GIVE MY FAMILY ANY KIND OF PAIN, THE WORST THING IS THAT IN GUATEMALA I ALMOST NO ASSISTANCE FOR THIS DESEASE. I NEED TO FIND FRIENDS, TRUE FRIENDS, PLEASE IF ANYONE WANTS TO WRITE TO ME FEEL FREE TO DO SO

Email Author

I had unprotected sex 5 years ago with my boyfriend and developed a Urinary tract infection soon after...I didn´t get tested then but am now so scared that it was HIV...I have read every website about AIDS and do not display any more symptoms, but I am still scared. I am now married and am worried that I may have infected my husband too..I love him so much and this is killing me..I am going to get a test soon so all I can do until then is pray.

I'll Be 17 years old in 2 days. I've never had Sex, and I've never taken a HIV test. I'm planning on getting one as soon as ponssible becuase I whish to know for sure that I'm healthy enven though I'm very athlectic and rarely get sick.
I've been reading the HIV related stories on this website, and I've recieved a great amount of wisdom and inspiration. I claim not that I can fully understand the feelings of all the HIV victims(I'm sorry If this word offend anyone in anyway. English is my 2nd lauguage, so my vocabularies are limited), nor do I claim that I have any right at all to judge another human being, with that have been tell, I want to say that I feel great compassion towards the people who live a live that I am only begin to understand.
I am very touched by one story writen by a girl from swaziland whom did not leave her name and her email that was given to this site have somehow got lost. In her story, she was badly hurted, she whished to talk to someone and hopeing that'll heal her heart. Miss, If you ever read this letter, please know that I'll be there for you in whatever way that I can. And don't give up on life, you shouldn't ever loss hope beacuse, like the sky, there can't be rain all the time.
If anyone whishes to write me, I'd be more than happy to have that conversation. I whish the best of luck and blessing for all the people living with HIV/AIDS. Tonight I'll send prayers into the heaven and ask the lord to watch over us all.

Email Author

I just want to ask you whether I am in risk of getting AIDS.
About 3 or 4 months ago, I went to a beach called St Kilda
and I felt something stining on one of my toe. (At that time, I got a hole on my shoes)
I am not sure whether that was a needle from druggers or not. THat after a week or so, I got a blemish spot inside my mouth and still have it.
Then after about 3 or 4 weeks, I got a soar throat and all my family had it.
That time, I was really stressed with it and because of it, the blemish spot inside my mouth got bigger. (Now it is really tiny). THe soar throat I had was gone in 4 or 5 days. Oh~!! and before that I had diarrhea (I think it is from too much eating at night)
This went for more than 2 or 3 weeks than stopped for a while and had it again.
Also about 3 or 4 weeks ago from now, I had dry mouth, nose and eyes and after about 5 days they are gone again but still having dry cough. (Not really dry. a cough a day)
That is basically all I had.
The reason I am so stressed about is that there is a rumour that drugger through there needles once they used them and also I heard that, there is a child who get AiDS from playing there with sands..
Please reply me~!!

i am 20 year old female. i am writing because i am out of options. I have realized that i suffer either anxiety or i am just down right crazy. Seven months ago, i watched a disturbing tv commercial on tv about HIV with my mother. I never really thought about HIV or getting tested until i saw the commerical. My mother looked at me after the commercial and begged me to never have unprotected sex. Well, i did a few times before. So I guess thats what started this whole obsession with the disease. For the past 7 months, I have been suffering from my own mind games. I have been tested 3 times already in 7 months - each time i have been negative. However, i cant seem to shake this paranoid feeling of having HIV. I am less sexually active since this paranoia began. I guess you can say i'm actually AFRAID to have sex...i dont socialize with my friends as often...i feel like i'm missing out on my life. Every morning i wake up and try to relate something on my body to an HIV symptom. I sit here and start to cry telling this story because I just dont know what to do with myself anymore. I try to date back to what in my life could have started this paranoid HIV feeling. I sometimes assume it was when my mother begged me not to have unprotected sex and maybe i felt a little guilty that i had...or maybe i'm just scared of contracting it one day. I always use protection now, but if there is a mistake during sex (like how a condom slipped off my partner once) i cannot function through life afterwards. How do I shake this HIV fear? I cant keep getting tested - its getting to be ridiculous. I used to be so happy and loved life. Im sure there has to be someone out there with these same fears...or someone who has gotten through this. Please, this is a never ending cycle in my young life and i am asking for help or at least a story of hope. thank you.

Email Author

My name is Helen and I work for an AIDS organization that runs an awareness program for youth. We are trying to compile personal stories of individuals who have tested both positive and negative for AIDS and their experiences with the testing procedure. We also want to hear their personal accounts of how or why they thought they may be positive, or how people acquired the disease.
If you are willing to share your personal stories please email me and we can arrange for you to send them. Before we actually publish any stories we will obtain your approval of the written piece. If you decide, before it goes to print, that you do not want us to use your story, you can always tell us. There is no obligation on your part to participate.
Thanks to those for their strength and commitment to helping prevent the continued spread of HIV/AIDS.
Stay strong!

Email Author

Hello to all who read this! I recently met this guy who I know to be HIV+. He didn't want to tell me at first because he thought I would shun him but not so. I want to be there for him and let him know that no matter what he's still human and needs someone. My heart goes out to him and me being a Christian feel it's my duty to keep him encouraged and his spirits lifted. I try to minister to him and teach him God's way. He's cool with that but he want's something more than that with me and there's no way that I can do that. I've never had to worry about being HIV+. I'm as negative as negative can be and can't jeprodize my health because of him. I have a four year old son and am in my 8th month of pregnancy with a baby girl. I have to take care of my kids and be there for them. Can someone please tell me what I need to do to be his friend but also to let him know that it'll never be anything intimate or romantic with him. I've told him but I can tell that he will try and be persistent with things. I don't want to hurt his feelings but at the same time I really have to play it safe. I hope I don't sound to insensitive or inconsiderate. I just don't know what to do because it's such a sensitive issue and I don't want to hurt him but don't want to give false hope either. Thanks to all who respond.

Email Author

hi every1, im 29 mrried with 1 daughter and another 1 on the way,me and my wife are both hiv positive and have been for around 3 years,i just want people to be aware that life does carry on after diagnosis.when we were first diagnosed my wife was 8 months pregnant and we had only been married for a week so things were good up to that point,after we were told i thought that our lives were over and that we would all be dead within 5 years,it was the most scary time of my life,life suddenly became very real and frightening,that was until we got the facts from our doctors and specialist nurses who totally put our minds at rest and made us realise that we were going to be okay and would see our children grow up,so my message is to those who are negative is to be safe and careful,and to those who are newly diagnosed is that there is hope and your life will carry on.god bless you all.

hi im from india. i have a friend. he is 47 and his wife is 40. both were tested for hiv in 1998, when wife had lost weight by 18 kgs along with symptoms like fever, tiredness, severe joint pains etc. husband is with perfect health. both tested negtative for hiv in 1998. 2 years she was with various medication but no improvement. repeated tests shown negative for hiv. in 2000 a herbal doctor adviced her for viral load which has proved she is hiv infected with a viral load of 96000 copies/ml. the herbal doctor started treatment in 2000 and now she is 55kgs(in 2000 she was 36kgs) with no symptoms. viral load dropped down to non-detectable. all the hiv tests shows negative except hiv proviral dna, which is showing positive. now whether to stop the medication or to continue ? many patients who are getting treating along with her is in the same status. the doctor says to continue medication until proviral dna test turns negative. doctor is not able to tell when the test may turn negative. he says no treatment will be needed once hiv proviral dna test also turns to negative. but my friend is not able to meet treatment expenditute. kindly advice what to do ?