Fri Jan 5 2001
location=: Philadelphia, pa

As I watch alot of my friends die from AIDS. Each one of my friends had different lifestyles. One friend who is HIV positive. Once she found out that she was positive she really became loose with herself. Back in the late 80's, I use to ask her if she wasn't scared of contacting AIDS. Her response was always, " I KNOW HIM, HE'S COOL" then the drugs sat in. finally when she went to find help for her drug addiction, that was when she found out that she had the virus. Now she switches boyfriends 12 days a week, makes corner money. I use to ask her what would she do if the (present) boyfriend found out that he had the virus, what would she do, she told me that she would argue with him and make him think he gave the virus to her. She still does this up to this day. Another one of my friends brothers have the virus. One died years ago, he married a guy that was infected with AIDS, the other brother knew and possibly infected a woman in her 50's, telling her he was not infected.(he is younger) Another friend who died last year from the virus was infected by her husband. She on the other hand was a good woman. She did not believe in cheating her husband or other things. I share these stories so that people can hopefully understand how easy it is to contact the virus. My last friend I watched him go through his last stages. We had to hold his arms to walk him in the drug store to get his medicines. He was so feeble, he could not sit up, we had to feed him, wash him. Sores broke out around his mouth all the time. a person dying of AIDS is a sight so sad, the television stories can not even begin to show how sad it really is.

Fri Jan 12 2001
location=: Toronto

Hi there! I wondered if you know of any info. That I can find on the net with regards to "bug chasers", that is, those who attempt to acquire HIV/AIDS on purpose...I am doing a research assignment, and this sort of info would really help me. Thanks.
Robyn

Hi Robyn,
Until now, l had no suggestions to make to you other that you should post your question on the message board on the site and perhaps you'll get a conversation going about this topic. I have also read an ad in Talkabout which mentions Unsafe sex/barebacking where the gay community choose not to use condoms. The ad is for a discussion board to discuss this topic on the ACON site http://www.acon.org.au (l haven't had a look yet.) It's not exactly answering your question but perhaps you can also bring up your question on their message board. But l'd certainly like to see you bringing this topic up on the Webcentral board http://www.HIVAIDS.webcentral.com.au/text/board.html
Thanks for visiting the site
Carolena Helderman

location=: Kuala Lumpur
(My English is not very good) My bother is HIV positive. My family and I just got to know about it 3 months ago. It was indeed a tragic thing happening to me and my family. He never told us about it as he was worried that we could not take it (We presume that it has been 6 years)
He was hospitalised for a couple of times and currently he is seriously ill. We tried so many treatments as we wanted him to get well(though,we know that there is no specific treatment). We were sincerely hoping that he could resume his work as normal.
Now, I think that I'm going to lose him. He is unable to walk, lying down on the bed. He lost weight about 35kg (previously he was about 60kg) I really don't what to do. All of us love him so much. He is really a very nice person. All of us are in great pain to see him suffering of this illness.
What do we do? I really need a support.....please help me...

Hello,
I'm the administrator of the HIV/AIDS Positive Stories website. Thank-you for visiting the site and l was sad to read your email. As l've not been in your situation, l cannot give you any advice. I just wanted to suggest that you read the stories under the carer and family section http://www.HIVAIDS.webcentral.com.au/text/stories.html I also saw that you have posted your message on the message board and l'm sure you will get feedback from others who have gone through situations similar to your own.
Thank-you for visiting the site and l really hope that you find support from stories and the message board.
Regards
Carolena Helderman
HIV/AIDS Positive Stories

Dear Carolena
I received your E mail and thank you very much for that. I just got back to the office as I had a long leave. On Saturday evening 20/01/2001 was really a day that I will never forget for the rest of my life........He left us forever..........Only god knows how I felt at that time....As I mentioned earlier in my E mail that life is very empty without him.....I really did not expect that he will go so early(though I realised that one day he will leave us).
Now it's been a week that he left us........I have to be strong to face this reality even though it is hard to believe that he has gone. He will always in my heart......always.........but now I really miss him so much..........
I promised that I will keep supporting those people with HIV+ That is the best effort at least I can do to for them. I do hope that we keep in touch each other. Write to you soon.
Many thanks and best regards. AJ

Thank you for telling me your very personal experience, somehow 'l'm sorry to hear of the loss of your brother' is not enough. But l hope that you are finding a way to deal with this and you of course will continue to miss him for a very long time. Once again l'll mention that perhaps you could use the webBoard on the site if you need to speak to others for support, people who have been where you are now and can give you advice and comfort. All the best to you in this time AJ
Carolena
Positive Stories

Fri Feb 2 2001
location=: Qld, Australia

I don't have a story I would just like some help. My good friend Geoff died 12th August 1992 in Febuary 1993 I went to a dedication for the quilt project, where two of his panels were on display. I've now lost track of the quilt and would like to know where it may be now??? Can anybody help me find it now.? I would love for my children to see it. Any help would be much appreciated

Hello,
You could try and contact the 'Quilt Project Melbourne', l'm sure they will be able to answer your question. They say that all panels are numbered and catalogued by the national office and know where the panels are at all times.
Quilt Project Melbourne Room 19 6 Claremont street South Yarra 3141 9826 1954
I hope that you find the quilt panels and share them with your children.
Regards
Carolena
HIV/AIDS Positive Stories

Thanks very much for your support Hilary. I live in Melbourne, Australia and work on the web site by myself.....generally on my laptop whilst sitting on the couch! So it's always great to hear that it's been of help and that you think the standard of the site is of good quality. Especially that you like it for what it was originally intended, to give a personal perspective from people infected or affected by HIV and AIDS. Thanks again and good luck with your paper.
Carolena
HIV/AIDS Positive Stories

It is totally my pleasure to be able to enjoy this site, also it has helped me to refocus my paper. This was completely unnecessary of you to e-mail me, but I was wondering if you could help me, I know you have a list of chat schedules but I haven't been able to reach any of them. I would love to take a chance and chat through your site if it is at all possible? Any help you could give would be greatly appreciated... xoxo Hilary

At this stage l have not opted to have chat on the site....l've been waiting to see how the message board goes and that's been rather slow to get going. Perhaps in the future l will include chat but it's harder to moderate and that's why it's on hold Keep trying with the message board....it'd be great to see that going. Carolena

Hi,
I'm Wayne (THE NEEDLE AND THE DAMAGE DONE STORY). Further news to the story, is my successful outcome to the lawsuit. $429,000 plus costs. Not a bad result and now gives new ground for others who have suffered through work
WAYNE

hi wayne,
thanks for updating me with your information and congratulations on the result and it's certainly great to be setting this for others who suffer through work. I've also got to say that your story is the one that has always stayed in my mind, one because of the work situation and also the nerve of that Doctor.
Thanks for allowing your story on the site as it's getting the message out there, the site is currently getting over 12,000 people a month....over 200,000 hits, so it's certainly being read!
I'll add your update and congratulations again!
Carolena
HIV/AIDS Positive Stories

Help me!!!! I'm an infected gay who is fed up with this shit fucking world. I do not want to live that way. Everybody's watching my lesions and my white skin.I've lost a lot of my weight. When there is any wind, I'm always afraid to fly away. Isn't there anybody in this shit fucking world who feels the same and can help me to handle this situation????????

I don't of course know what support centres there are for HIV/AIDS in your country, perhaps there you will find support amongst others who are also experiencing the situation you are in.
I can just suggest that you try and use chat or discussion boards on HIV/AIDS websites, perhaps here you will find people who, as you say, feel the same way as you.
There is a board on this site http://www.HIVAIDS.webcentral.com.au/text/board.html or try a site which has many boards and professional responses http://www.thebody.com
Please look these up and l'm sure this will not make you feel as isolated.
Regards
Carolena Helderman

I actually do (not) have HIV or work directly on it but my brother is suffering and does not get access to such valuable information. Please help me subscribe for him. Send me information on how to

'm presuming that your brother does not have access to the Internet, this site does not have any sort of subscription set up, so there is nothing l could send. All l can suggest is that if you can access the site, perhaps if you have a printer, you could print some of the stories and give it to him.
Regards
Carolena
HIV/AIDS Positive Stories

Thanks, I will try doing that but if you know of any other free subscription periodical please let me know. Sam